Unfortunately, I have not experienced too much stability in the past eleven months. I am experiencing rapid cycling in my bipolar disorder. For the past many months I have had depression for three to six weeks, then hypomania for about three or four, and then repeat the cycle. Some days I am manic and depressed in the same day. Sometimes I have a few days of dark depression and then it flips to mania. I am accepting at the moment that this is how my illness is manifesting itself for now.
Stability for me is getting solid sleep, eight to nine hours each night, balanced eating, and regular exercise. My relationships are usually more stable also during these times. My self-esteem is better. I can occasionally look at myself in the mirror and say to myself as I am looking into my eyes, I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I am typically more comfortable in my own skin. Unlike depression when I hate myself or hypomania when I think I am amazing. The absence of this black-and-white, high-and-low thinking is an enjoyable place to be in life.
Take good care,
Christine
Sometimes the greatest growth comes through pain, but it's not the pain that helps me grow, it's my response to it. -- Courage to Change, p. 330
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