About two weeks ago I was very depressed and experiencing suicidal ideation.
Within that two weeks, I contacted my psychiatrist and we made a medication change by adding a mood stabilizer to my other medications, two antipsychotics.
I slowly started to feel better, day by day. I am now the opposite of depressed. I feel very positive about my life and I am getting excited about the possibility of becoming a mental health advocate through the National Alliance of Mental Health. I am also looking forward to continuing to create this website and blog. My mood at this point could be considered stable. And it is a juxtaposition of my depressed mood recently. Whenever I feel this good about everything, I need to be vigilantly alert. I have to be aware of my mood, feelings, and emotions in case I am headed for hypomania and mania. It sometimes seems sad to me to have to question a great mood but I am applying due diligence to always be aware of my bipolar disorder. Although I feel good now, it can possibly devolve into an unwanted, unhealthy manic state. The following are signs for me that I am shifting into mania:
Disrupted sleep schedule - getting fewer hours of sleep than normal.
Eating less, decreased appetite.
Increased activity - Always on the go, can't stop doing.
Very talkative, increased phone calls, texting, and emails.
Pressured speech - can't get the words out fast enough.
Racing thoughts.
Grandiose ideas about my life.
In examining the above symptoms I realize I do have a few occurring now. This allows me to evaluate my mood. I will remain observant of my frame of mind and symptoms and for the time being try to enjoy my good mood.
Take good care,
Christine
"We see things not as they are, but as we are." - H.M. Tomlinson
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