This morning I needed to reach out to my doctor via text. I am still in the middle of a mixed episode and into rapid cycling. I don't know whether I am coming or going. Last night my mood switched from neutral, a little down, to very high with manic symptoms: pressured speech, racing thoughts, and an overall mood that everything was great. This morning I woke up depressed and experiencing hysterical crying because everything seemed negative. I cried so hard I made myself physically sick to my stomach with dry heaving.
I emailed my doc earlier in the week so he was aware I'm experiencing a mixed episode. Customarily I only send an unobtrusive email. Then I went into another manic phase where everything and life are amazing. I felt ultra positive and know that this rapid mood cycle is far from being stable. I do not know when I will dissolve in tears, it could be in minutes, hours, or days. I do not know what the next twelve hours will bring. My doc called me back after he received my text and increased my mood stabilizer. He wants to hear back from me in three to four days. One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. So for today, I adjusted my pill box and I will stay in the moment as I don't know what the next one will bring.
Take good care,
Christine
"Wisdom not gained from within is only someone else's knowledge."
-- Georgette Vickstrom
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